Der Ehemann nörgelt schon den ganzen Tag an allem herum.
Ehefrau: "Sag mal, kannst du vielleicht zur Abwechslung auch was Konstruktives sagen?"
Ehemann: "Lego."
Wer auf Anhieb sagen kann, was eine Kompaktkassette mit einem Bleistift zu tun hat, sollte dringend einen Termin zur Darmspiegelung vereinbaren...
Katze (draußen): *Oh, eine Kanalratte. Kanalratten schmecken total gut. Die fang ich mir und verschlinge sie mit Haut und Haaren.*
Katze (in der Wohnung): *Hmmm. "Rinderfilet in feiner Soße"? Ich weiß nicht... Nee, lieber nicht.*
Hab meiner Zweijährigen jetzt einen kleinen Hund gekauft.
Damit sie bei dieser Hitze im geparkten Auto nicht immer so alleine ist.
Wochenstart mit einer humorvollen Geschichte aus den USA:
A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store
looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says ..
"Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."
Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he 'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
...
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up,
the boss came down to the sales floor.
"How many customers bought something from you today?"
The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One".
The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.
That will have to change, and soon, if you 'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota,
but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".
The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat,
so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department
and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife,
and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.
